Stop Second Guessing Yourself

BY BENITA THORNHILL, MA, LPCA, LCAS-R                                         April 27, 2017

benita turquoiseWe have all had those moments. Moments where an awesome wonder could occur in our life if we just say “yes” to an opportunity. We feel excited, curious, overflowing with gratitude and full of hope. But, then at that very moment, “It” happens. Yes, “It”.

“It” questions if this is something we really should be devoting our energy and finances to. “It” reasons, there are so many other ways we can use the money or time that would be more beneficial. “It” begins a hypothesis process based on all of the negative what if’s it can conjure. We become our own worst enemy and sometimes we start to feel extremely overwhelmed in the decision making process. Finally, a truce is called and we and “it” settle on agreeing that we need more time to ponder which decision is right. But, “it” is extremely tricky and knows that with more time, one of two things well happen. “It” can talk us out of taking the chance or the opportunity will pass.  Because of the mental dance we play with ourselves, we often miss opportunities that may have been extremely rewarding.

So, what exactly is “it”?  It goes by many names, self-doubt, anxiety, fear, etc. Each of us has our own “it”. It sounds strange to think that saying yes to something that potentially could offer us a great outcome, creates such difficulty when trying to make a decision. The truth is that when there is a possibility that we could be on the verge of something great happening in our lives, it can result in making us feel extremely vulnerable. Experiencing vulnerability on any level is very difficult when we don’t trust ourselves to make the right decisions because of underlying self-doubt, anxiety or fear. Being able to be comfortable with vulnerability is all about trusting yourself, knowing your worth, and not being afraid to leave your comfort zone.

3 Ways to Conquer “It”

  1. Listen to what you are saying to yourself and ask where it is coming from.
  • If the chatter is coming from a place of fear, sit the dance out.
  1. Don’t get sucked into catastrophic thinking.
  • Nix the negative commentary inside your head.
  1. Believe in yourself!
  • Choose to use your power of thinking to propel you further in life, not to second guess yourself!